Optimisticality

Recently, I gave a friend some advice. She is generally a very positive person and usually keeps a small group of us feeling the glass is half full. I think I just endured a fairly terrifying experience and I'm happy to report I stand behind my advice; In fact I took it.

The world of DoD contract work can be ... less secure[pun intended] than regular commercial work. In fact the process of acquiring a security clearance can be very time consuming. My company dropped the ball on my clearance and a few days ago I was placed in a status of no jurisdiction. Basically that means I could no longer work around classified material. Since that's pretty much all I do that meant I couldn't work. So I go through the humiliation of being escorted from the building and having local middle management throw around terms like leave without pay.

Proudly, rather than go on the offence I chose to simply be a part of the solution. I provided documentation showing I had been inquiring for months as to my clearance status. As it turns out, I was a casualty of our company security officer's negligence. So, conference calls were arranged and my clearance process should begin again in a day or so. In the mean time my interim status will be reinstated and I can begin working again. Throughout the ordeal I remained positive and kept the glass half full.

Considering I kept that outlook in the face of what seemed like I was loosing the job all together, I'm pretty proud of that.

It was kinda fun traveling the road less traveled, thanks Hope ;P

Book recommendation (poetry)

Everything Preserved
by Landis Everson edited by Ben Mazer

Amazon Link

From Publishers Weekly

Everson, who makes his book-length debut in his 70's as winner of the Poetry Foundation's Emily Dickinson first book award, swapped poems with a young Jack Spicer and John Ashbery, then stopped writing for 43 years until a recent creative outburst. This volume-divided into two sections, one for nine poems written between 1955 and 1960, and the other comprising the remaining 66, written since 2003-quickly establishes the charms of the playful early work, as in a poem that describes "at least twenty deer" driven by famine to graze on the speaker's pillow and other "poor, unfamiliar pastures." There is a plainspoken, aphoristic strangeness at the heart of many of these early poems-set to subtle music. "The perfect form of woman is a ghost," Everson writes in his last and most ambitious early piece, "The Little Ghost I Played With." The recent work is much more uneven-though much of it has been published in major literary magazines-and there are still plenty of pleasures to be found. Everson evokes the ordinary with a continually surprising touch: percussive language evokes longing for a deceased lover ("I'll take your long legs and / the afterthought of thunderstorms / or sex all day rolled up"); a lemon tree in Eden "hides the smell / of new babies"; and a space probe begets thoughts on onions and innocence. "I am / written on thoroughly, a lost novel / found again," Everson writes, as if starting an autobiography, then turns unexpectedly: "I remember the predictable plot too late, / realize the silly sad urgency of moss."

Folks this read is only for serious poetry lovers, there are many advanced elements in this one.

Never pull a poet

Fellow poets! Never overlook the diverse uses of your skills...


Extenuating Circumstances
a poem by Paul Violi

I don't know how fast I was going
but, even so, that's still
an intriguing question, officer,
and deserves a thoughtful response.
With the radio unfurling
Beethoven's Ode to Joy, you might
consider anything under 80 sacrilege.
Particularly on a parkway as lovely
as the one you're fortunate enough to patrol
‹and patrol so diligently.
A loveliness that, if observed
at an appropriate rate of speed,
affords the kind of pleasure
which is in itself a reminder
of how civilization depends
on an assurance of order and measure,
and the devotion of someone
like yourself to help maintain it.
Yes, man the measurer!
The incorrigible measurer.
And admirably precise measurements
they are‹Not, of course, as an end
in themselves but, lest we forget, a means to propel
us into the immeasurable,
where it would be anybody's guess
how fast the west wind was blowing
when it strummed a rainbow
and gave birth to Eros.
If we accept that a parkway
is a work of art, the faster we go
the greater the tribute
to its power of inspiration,
a lyrical propulsion that approaches
the spiritual and tempts‹demands
the more intrepid of us to take it from there.
That sense of the illimitable,
when we feel we are more the glory
than the jest or riddle of the world
‹that's what kicked in, albeit
briefly, as I approached
the Croton Reservoir Bridge.
And on a night like this, starlight
reignited above a snowfall's last
flurry, cockeyed headlights scanning
the girders overhead, eggshell
snowcrust flying off the hood,
hatching me on the wing
like a song breaking through prose,
the kind I usually sing
through my nose:

So much to love,
A bit less to scorn
What have I done?

To what end was I born?
To teach and delight.
Delight . . . or offend.
Luck's been no lady,
Truth a sneaky friend.

Got the heater on full blast,
Window jammed down,
Odometer busted,
Speedometer dead wrong:
Can't tell how fast I'm going,
Don't care how far I've gone.

--------

Can you just picture the ticket book on the ground as the thoroughly disgusted officer makes his way back to his cruiser, head shaking?

Never judge a book by it's cover

This will give you chills... http://video.yahoo.com/video/play?ei=UTF-8&vid=646496&cache=1&fr=&.fdbk=mail:v/0

Man vs. Woman in the shower.

How to Shower Like a Woman

1. Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.
2. Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
3. Look at your womanly physique in the mirror - make mental note to do more sit-ups
4. Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah, and pumice stone.
5. Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.
6. Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.
7. Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced with natural avocado oil. Leave on hair for 15 minutes.
8. Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red.
9. Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.
10. Rinse conditioner off hair.
11. Shave armpits and legs.
12. Turn off shower.
13. Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower. Spray mold spots with Tilex.
14. Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country. Wrap hair in super absorbent towel.
15. Check entire body for zits, tweeze hairs.
16. Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.
17. If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.

AND NOW

How To Shower Like a Man

1. Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile.
2. Walk naked to the bathroom. If you see wife along the way,shake wiener at her making the 'woo-woo' sound.
3. Look in the mirrior, look at your wiener and scratch your ass.
4. Get in the shower.
5. Wash your face
6. Wash your armpits.
7. Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.
8. Make fart noises (real or artificial) and laugh at how loud they sound in the shower.
9. Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.
10. Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap.
11. Shampoo your hair.
12. Make a Shampoo Mohawk.
13. Pee.
14. Rinse off and get out of shower.
15. Partially dry off. Fail to notice water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time.
16. Admire wiener size in mirror again.
17. Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.
18. Return to bedroom with towel around your waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the 'woo-woo' sound again.
19. Throw wet towel on bed.

Christmas is All Around!!!

The greatest song ever!!

PostSecret

http://postsecret.blogspot.com/

Every Sunday they come with their most intimate secrets. Secrets of fear, of revenge, of hate, of loss and of death.

But they also come with secrets of freindship, of family, of fun, of hope and of love.

They all come with one thing in common, they come with secrets. Do you have secrets?



I do...